D&A #18 Deconstructed

It was always about the candy. In my most mischievous years*, a couple friends and I would raid the unattended bowls of candy laid out by home owners with an equivocal commitment to the night’s festivities. No costumes, just an eye on the prize. I nearly died laughing when my friend swiped the goods with the bowl itself. Not sure what he ended up doing with it.

One of the shining achievements in my lifelong career of bending the rules while still playing the game happened in (I think) fourth grade. For the school Halloween parade, I went as: Andrew Oh. I donned my favorite long-sleeve shirt with a cartoon spider featured on the front. But the key to the costume was a piece of masking tape with my name scrawled in Sharpie taped on my forehead. That way, there was no question who I was pretending to be. Can’t recall if the get-up was a hit, but I sure thought so.

Jumping forward to high school, I was teetering on the edge of being too old to partake in any trick or treating whatsoever. There was, however, one costume I had to try before I had exceeded the appropriate age: the classic bedsheet ghost. I asked my mom for an old sheet I could cut two holes into and she reluctantly gave me one. The manufacturing was easy enough but let me tell ya, that costume sucks to wear. The sheet constantly shifts around on your head, your feet keep dragging on the edges, and the eye holes never stay in place. It gets quite steamy quite quickly, you’ve got low visibility, and it’s hard to breathe. Yeah, it’s not a great time, but I’m glad I did it.

In my adult years, my Halloween participation has been mostly a solitary affair. Definitely attended some Halloween bashes in college, but never dressed up for them. Some people really get into that sort of thing, but not me. I will happily arrive in my trademark Polo and jeans, and have a great time. Halloween night my freshman year, I watched the Exorcist for the first time. By myself. With the lights off. I was just starting to finally open up to horror films and media, but this was a full spider crawl into the scariest of the scary. In the middle of the film, my roommate walked in to grab something. He probably thought I was lame. That’s okay. We didn’t get along. It’s no secret. He did throw up in his bed and proceed to sleep in it, but hey, haven’t we all? (NO!)

The day after this post goes up is Halloween 2020. How can one night dedicated to the scary and spooky ever stack up to the absolute nightmare this year has been? There will undoubtedly be some ridiculous shenanigans that will take place this Halloween - and I cannot lie, I am a little excited for the whacky stories - but like all holidays this year, there is a somber quality to what should be a time for merrymaking. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, with Christmas and New Year’s right on its tail. What is always the busiest travel season will now be… who knows? How many people will still travel and get together? For those who do, what will it be like? Will it still be a joyous experience with a pervasive deadly virus, uncertain economic future, and fractious political landscape all looming overhead? For me, it’s not worth it. Why risk your lives and gather when it ain’t gonna be fun anyway? I guess it’s for the camaraderie and I get it. Misery loves company.

It’s gonna be a quiet one for me, but hey, at least I got all three Charlie Brown holiday specials on DVD. What more can a guy ask for?

*middle school